This is an idea that I have been finding, and then losing, and finding again recently… To explain what I mean I’ll start with a definition, first from m-w.com, and then my particular emphasis…

Frame : Date: 14th century

1 a : something composed of parts fitted together and united b : the physical makeup of an animal and especially a human body : physique, figure
2 a : the underlying constructional system or structure that gives shape or strength (as to a building) b : a frame dwelling
3 obsolete : the act or manner of framing

So for me when I think of my “life frame” I am thinking of my life as something composed of parts fitted together and united. I also like the second meaning, in this sense my life frame is the underlying constructional system or structure that gives my life shape and strength. I also like the (now obsolete) idea of the frame as the act or manner of framing. It reminds me that my life frame is not something static, its a process of continual renewal, so that to talk of my frame is to talk of the quality of my framing, the acts and manner by which I try to frame my life.

The main enemy that I have found that hinders my life frame is absorption. I came to this idea after noticing that some weeks I am more present in my life, aware and mindful of the different parts and the fitted together whole, whereas other weeks I somehow lose myself, becoming absorbed in one part of my life while neglecting the whole. During weeks like this I feel driven, compelled towards the absorption, so that little else matters. I forget to water my plants, (both literally and metaphorically!), I eat compulsively or not at all, I forget all the little administrative details that then come back to bite me.

On weeks when I maintain my frame, I manage to balance work with home life, I notice the weather, find myself interacting in subtle but meaningful ways with my world, and generally tend to all the flowers and plants without forgetting any of them.

Obviously its not black or white, most of the time I am somewhere in a grey middle zone, but my frame affects the quality of my life so much that I have started to focus on it specifically and try to improve it.

Sometimes, I just have a bad week. Some demand is placed on me by work, or some other external stressor – or goal – in my life takes up all my attention. Some things I cannot predict.

But there are times that I can catch myself before falling into an aversive or addictive absorption and remind myself to keep my frame. And the more often I do this the more balanced my life is.

So keeping my frame has become a central theme. Now I watch out for warning signs that things are slipping: dishes in the sink, wilted flowers, forgetting minor admin, etc etc and I try my best to keep my balance.